At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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