I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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