Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
