I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
