what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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