Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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