The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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