i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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