does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
