How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
