Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
