I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
