Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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