I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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