They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
