My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
