"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
