And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
