May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
