why didn't you poke me back
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
