i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
