How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize