just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
