Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Is it because I queefed?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
