You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize