Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
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