God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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