So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
