glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
