I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You took a bar mat shot.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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