covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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