My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize