ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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