I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
