The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
