Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
