Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
