I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my sisters under your porch take her home
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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