I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
