Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
