i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
