did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
