Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
