the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
