yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
