I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
