She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
