Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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