If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just invented taco cereal.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
