Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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