I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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