so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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