we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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