he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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