he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
