Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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