my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
