I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
