u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
