I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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