I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
