drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
