I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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