yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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