does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
